I'll always have you

Tattoo by Jordin Sparks

No matter what you say about love,
I keep coming back for more,
Keep my hand in the fire,
Sooner or later I get what I'm asking for
No matter what you say about life,
I learn every time I bleed the truth is a
Stranger soul is in danger
I gotta let my spirit be free to...
Admit that I'm wrong and then change my mind
Sorry but I have to move on and leave you behind

(Chorus)
I can't waste time so give it a moment
I realize nothing's broken
No need to worry bout everything I done
Live every second like it was my last one
Don't look back got a new direction
I loved you once
Needed protection
You're still a part of everything I do
You're on my heart just like a tattoo
Just like a tattoo I'll always have you
I'll always have you
I'll always have you

I'm sick of playing all of these games
It's not bout taking sides
When I looked in the mirror,
It didn't deliver, it hurt enough to think that I could stop
Admit that I'm wrong and then change my mind
Sorry but I got to be strong and leave you behind

I can't waste time so give it a moment
I realize nothing's broken no need to worry bout everything I done
Live every second like it was my last one
Don't look back got a new direction
I love you once
Needed protection
You're still a part of everything I do
You're on my heart just like a tattoo
Just like a tattoo
I'll always have you
I'll always have you
I'll always have you

If I live every moment,
Won't change any moment,
There's still a part of me in u
I will never regret you
Still the memory of you
Marks everything I do.
Oooh...

(Chorus)2x
I can't waste time so give it a moment
I realize nothing's broken no need to worry bout everything I done
Live every second like it was my last one
Don't look back got a new direction
I loved you once
Needed protection
You're still a part of everything I do
You're in my heart just like a tattoo

Just like a tattoo
I'll Always have you...



Life is like acting. Or rather, acting is like life. In acting, you are acting in the role of a character, or a person that someone has created. If you are any good at acting once you finish with the job you will take something away from the character. Maybe it's some motion that you had them do because it fit with their personality. Or it could be something that they always said. Or what normally happens to me, I find myself acting in a certain way or thinking in a certain way and I realize, Oh, wow, I am acting just like this character that I was.

It's a peculiar feeling. Feeling like someone else. It's just like when you are friends with someone, or even not friends, you will find yourself sometimes doing things that they would do. It's in my firm belief that every person you encounter will somehow have an impact on your life. If they don't, you weren't paying enough attention and you need to learn how to be a spectator to your own life.

Once you learn how to be a people watcher, a great trait for acting folk, you can see yourself in every person. Even those who you would think would be the farthest away from you. Like they say, "Ignorance breeds intolerance". For some people, it's hard to image why someone, a girl, might like girls, or the same for guys. Or why someone would not like those who are mentally or physically handicapped. Or even those people who don't like people who are a different race or religion.

It comes from not knowing about what they are talking about. Not thinking about all ends of the spectrum. Not knowing all of the facts. I'm not kidding myself in thinking that I am tolerant of every human being. Am I tolerant of a rapist, probably not. But that doesn't give me any reason to hate every person I don't understand. With more understanding, would there even be rapists? I don't know, and I don't think we as a human race will ever find out. Because we are flawed. As everyone should be.

It reminds me of that story, the title is escaping me at the moment, where there is the beautiful, perfect girl, well she would be perfect, if she didn't have a birthmark on her face. In the end it is removed and suddenly she isn't there. Because it is the faults and marks on our bodies and personalities that make us beautiful. Because if everyone was 'perfect' then what would that be?

We would all be boring and alike. But just because we aren't alike, doesn't mean that we should be intolerant or hate. It's because of us being different that we are all the same. We are all the same in our eccentricities.

We are all the same, yet different. And it is because of this, this wonderful thing that I wish more people would understand. Like watching a bag caught up in a windstorm. Watching it just fly around, dance in the wind, up and down. Because of this, we are all beautiful. We are all human.

It was you

Falling in Love at a Coffee Shop by Landon Pigg

I think that possibly, maybe I'm falling for you
Yes theres a chance that I've fallen quite hard over you.
I've seen the paths that your eyes wander down
I want to come too

I think that possibly, maybe I'm falling for you

No one understands me quite like you do
Through all of the shadowy corners of me

I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop
I love so much
All of the while I never knew
I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop
I love so much
All of the while I never knew

I think that possibly, maybe I'm falling for you
Yes theres a chance that I've fallen quite hard over you.
I've seen the waters that make your eyes shine
Now I'm shining too

Because oh because
I've fallen quite hard over you

If I didn't know you, I'd rather not know
If I couldn't have you, I'd rather be alone

I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop
I love so much
All of the while I never knew
I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop
I love so much
All of the while, I never knew

All of the while , all of the while
It was you

Possibly, I am falling for you. I don't think I like you, per se. I think I might. Well, I know I did. But that lasted about three painful days. You can send me kisses, blown in the air, I'll keep them for when I'm alone. But it's wrong. You're taken. You belong to someone else. I am not a home wrecker, even though it's just high school. It's just a crush.

Europe, that's when I'll be okay. I'll meet some nice Italian boy and forget about you. I'll finally have my life back.

All of the while, I never knew, all of the while, all of the while, it was you.

I go hoping I'll see you. Alone. A moment frozen in time. It's like I'm in love, or rather like-like.

In like-like without any of the benefits. When you let her go, tell me, then I will allow myself a moment of weakness. Then I'll let myself fall. Will you catch me? Will you see me as more than a friend? Will I even want you to?

Even though no relationships have happened. I fear that I have an issue with commitment. Not really something that is all that good. Maybe, just maybe, you can break that.

What would my friends think? One of them knows. Well, kind of. I know it's wrong. It might always be wrong, but please, just consider it. Soon, you might have to make a choice.

Soon, I'll have to make a choice as well.

I have been asked out at least once. By that I mean seriously. I was twelve. Too young to date. That and, not the type of guy I pictured myself with. I said no, my mother would have killed me.

I'm nearly sixteen now. The right age. Ask me.

I don't know what I'm diving into

Hanging by a Moment by Lifehouse

Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started
Chasing after you
I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you

Forgetting all I'm lacking
Completely incomplete
I'll take your invitation
You take all of me now...

I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you

There's nothing else to lose
There's nothing else to find
There's nothing in the world
That can change my mind
There is nothing else
There is nothing else
There is nothing else

Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started
Chasing after you....

I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you
I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you

Just hanging by a moment (here with you)
Hanging by a moment (here with you)
Hanging by a moment here with you

Always hanging by a moment. They say that high school is the best time of your life. Don't try to grow up too fast. If you do, you'll regret it. You'll always look back and wonder if you did something different, would your life be better? Would you be healthier, richer, happier? Would you be more liked, more envied? Would you have a better job?

Life is full of what if's and would you's. The more you obsess about things, the more outlandish the claims and wonderings can become. What if I was born a boy? Would I be happier? Would I be loved? Would I be a serial killer? Would I be killed in a shooting in the bank that I was robbing?

Outlandish. Bizarre. Erratic. Idiosyncratic. Eccentric.

Would I love you? Would you love me? Would that nerd in my math class be my one true love? Would I fall in love with a rapist? Would the person I love now be the same in that other life?

Hanging by a moment. Will this be it? Will it be over? Will it all be okay?

Questions. Questions are all that are sure in this life. "Two things in life are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity. I'm not sure about the former." --Albert Einstein.

As a race humans are stupid. And I say race not as a color. But as a people. As a people, we are dumb. We are so dumb. And yet we fool ourselves in thinking we are intelligent.

I'm hanging by a moment. I'm frozen in time. I don't want to grow up. And yet I can't wait. I can't wait to get out of here.

Humans are so fickle.

You're way too beautiful... for me

Beautiful Girls by Sean Kingston

Chorus:
You're way too beautiful girl
That's why it'll never work
You'll have me suicidal, suicidal
When you say it's over
Damn all these beautiful girls
They only wanna do your dirt
They'll have you suicidal, suicidal
When they say it's over

Verse 1:
See it started at the park
Used to chill at the dark
Oh when you took my heart
That's when we fell apart
Coz we both thought
That love lasts forever (lasts forever)
They say we're too young
To get ourselves sprung
Oh we didn't care
We made it very clear
And they also said
That we couldn't last together (last together)

Refrain:
See it's very define, girl
One of a kind
But you mush up my mind
You walk to get declined
Oh Lord...
My baby is driving me crazy

(Repeat Chorus)

Verse 2:
It was back in '99
Watchin' movies all the time
Oh when I went away
For doin' my first crime
And I never thought
That we was gonna see each other (see each other)
And then I came out
Mami moved me down South
Oh I'm with my girl
Who I thought was my world
It came out to be
That she wasn't the girl for me (girl for me)

(Repeat Refrain and Chorus)

Verse 3:
Now we're fussin'
And now we're fightin'
Please tell me why
I'm feelin' slightin'
And I don't know
How to make it better (make it better)
You're datin' other guys
You're tellin' me lies
Oh I can't believe
What I'm seein' with my eyes
I'm losin' my mind
And I don't think it's clever (think it's clever)

You're way too beautiful girl
That's why it'll never work
You'll have me suicidal, suicidal, suicidal...

Why is it that the world is divided on the attractiveness scale? For example, 2's attract 2's and 7's attract 7's. It's just how the world works.

Now this scale is a 1-10 scale, 1 being 'why the hell are you living?' and 10 being 'shit...'. From 1-4 and 7-10 you have your happy, ugly couples and your happy, pretty couples. And those who are in the middle, average, we'll call them, those people, the 5's and 6's are left cold at night.

Life sucks doesn't it?

People rarely date outside of their number or comfort zone. Which happens to be the same thing. The only time you will actually see this, is in the movies, or in a romance book about the geeky boy who has had a life long crush on this cheerleader wonderful person, everyone loves her (gag me now),and the story is about her finding out she loves him back.

Is life really so unrealistic that we have to make up stories about fairytale romances and all bunny rabbits and rainbows? Now that's not to say Disney got it all wrong. There's angst too. Angst is always a good thing in my book. It makes something that you want to read, because it isn't so predictable.

Wow, got off on a little rant there. Anyway, back to the attractive levels... it's the average people who can't find love. Or maybe it takes them a little longer to find, real love. Not the fake love that the pretties have, or the downright weird love that the uglies have. No, that real love, that love that actually can withstand the test of time. The love like Noah and Allie in The Notebook. Though, they were both played by very attractive people. I doubt they were actually that attractive. They probably just thought that about each other because they were so in love.
Though they had to be somewhat attractive, we'll say, 6.8ish.

Just realizing now, how these will all end up to somehow be about love. Because after all, isn't that what most people are searching for in life?

It's too late to apologize

I was listening to a song a moment ago, Apologize by One Republic.

I'm holding on your rope,
Got me ten feet off the ground
I'm hearin what you say but I just can't make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down, but wait
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say...

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

I'd take another chance, take a fall
Take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
But it's nothin new
I loved you with a fire red-
Now it's turning blue, and you say...
"Sorry" like the angel heaven let me think was you
But I'm afraid...

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

Bridge (guitar/piano)

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
It's too late to apologize, yeah
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah-
I'm holdin on your rope, got me ten feet off the ground...

How often do we think that? How often do we believe it? How often is it true?
I know that I have myself been guilty of this. I forget what really matters in the scheme of things and I think of myself. Only myself. I seem to be doing that lately. The whole world seems to be doing that lately. if we stop doing that, who knows what this world can accomplish? We could end world hunger, we could stop global warming, we could do a lot.

What's easier to do, however, is sit in our rooms with a cup of Starbucks and some See's candy and type about what we could do to stop all these problems. Doing it is another thing however.

I would love to say, and mean it, I would get out of bed and make a difference in this old place. I would be someone and something. But that takes something. Something few people have in this world, something that most condemn others on. Something that I admire, and also pity. That need to take care of someone, to have a cause. But those are also those people who even after they are dead are remembered.

That's how I want to be remembered. Not by my children, and my children's children. But by people who I might not have known, but some how I managed to reach them. In a way that no one else could.

I do realize that that is something I would have to work at. But it's something I can try. A week or so ago I had an opportunity at what some could call 'love'. Probably only like. That didn't work out, but I learned something about myself. I would prove it to that person that I am not to be belittled. When they are some old and decrepit thing I will rise on top. I will be famous, somehow. And they will regret it. I don't do this for them. I do this for me. It will show me that I can't be stomped on like a rat.

You know what they say, 'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.'